The Work of the Shadow

Awakening to Wholeness is a series of prompts, reflections, and teachings about how holding the tension of opposites can help us to heal division and experience wholeness. If you feel moved to share your own reflections, we invite you to email us with the subject line “Wisdom of Opposites” or tag us on social media with #EHoPWisdomOfOpposites.

Shadow work is hard work—not necessarily because the shadow itself is so onerous, but because of what it asks of us. We must be willing to see in ourselves what is causing the shadow, and willing to face what the shadow reveals to us. 

In all this work, it is helpful to have guides and companions who support us. In many cases, these guides might be complete strangers. Allow me to explain. 

Psychology tells us that we often project outward what is inside us. A narcissist’s accusation of others is surely a confession of self! Reverse projection also occurs: another person’s traits or actions provoke something within us. I like to call this the reverse shadow, because it is truly an invitation to do some inner work. 

For me, I began to notice a strong reaction to other women when they expressed assertiveness. In my judgment, their assertiveness seemed like aggression. This is one of the clearest signs that a reverse shadow is at work: an exaggerated reaction to something that we judge to be much worse than it actually is. 

As I noticed the pattern, I slowly put the pieces together. I had come to value my own self as a very receptive person. But by over-valuing receptivity in myself, I had underdeveloped assertiveness. Seeing assertiveness in others triggered me, and called me out of myself to do the hard work of healing and developing my whole self—receptive and assertive. 

Within the particular tension of my story, any story of shadow work, is a larger container of opposites—self and other. In shadow work, the other helps to develop the self. May we tread tenderly and befriend ourselves, others, and the work of the shadow! 

Contemplative Questions

We offer the following questions as prompts to help you reflect on the presence of opposites in your spiritual practice and your life.

• When have you noticed reverse projection in your life? In other words, what qualities in others provoke a strong—perhaps disproportionate—reaction in you?
• What does this tell you about what you value in yourself? What might it tell you about the parts of yourself that you have neglected, or even suppressed?
• When you work to hold this tension of Self and Other, what does it teach you about Wholeness?

Christine Luna Munger

Christine Luna Munger, PhD currently serves as the director of the Episcopal House of Prayer. She previously served as Coordinator of the Spiritual Direction Certificate and Professor of Theology at St. Catherine University. She regularly writes, teaches, and leads group prayer sits at EHoP.

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