Awakening to Wholeness is a series of prompts, reflections, and teachings about how holding the tension of opposites can help us to heal division and experience wholeness. If you feel moved to share your own reflections, we invite you to email us with the subject line “Wisdom of Opposites” or tag us on social media with #EHoPWisdomOfOpposites.
Often, when I teach about holding the tension of opposites, I remind folks that opposites are not inherently good or bad. In fact, opposition is often helpful. For example, what better way is there to come to know the fullness of cold than by having felt the sensations of warm and hot? In some cases, opposition is necessary.
When opposition pervades and persists over time, it expresses in what we come to perceive as dualism, a bit of reality that is seemingly split, rather than whole. Many of the pesky “isms” in our societies refract as dualism: the split between men and women is sexism; the split between different ages is ageism; the split between different classes is classism; the split between different colors of skin is colorism or racism. While humanity would do well to do away with “isms” such as these, there are other aspects of duality that seem necessary, at least in certain times and instances.
One such example is the duality between self and other. Psychology offers many examples of the ways in which the self becomes a self precisely because of, and through, encounters with others. This process over time is often called individuation.
The tricky part of individuation is when the individual gets stuck, turned inward, and forgets the necessity of the other. Some call this “stuckness,” or over-emphasis on the self, identification. Simply put, in the process of becoming, the self needs others: not only to bounce up against and establish boundaries, but also to lean into and receive support.
The paradox is, that from the perspective of Spirit, the two are already one in the larger being of the One. Thus, the paradox persists: if the tension between self and other is necessary for particular becoming, how do we hold the universal reality of Oneness in tension with the specifics of becoming a particular being?
Contemplative Questions
We offer the following questions as prompts to help you reflect on the presence of opposites in your spiritual practice and your life.
- Can you think of oppositions that have been helpful in your life? For example, perhaps feelings of isolation have helped you understand community, or sorrow has allowed you to understand joy. How have these oppositions contributed to your understanding of Wholeness?
- When have you experienced “stuckness,” or over-emphasis on the self? When have others helped to to become more fully yourself?
- In what ways does your spiritual life rely on others—teachers, community members, friends? In what ways is your spiritual life particular, personal, unique?
Join the conversation! If you feel moved to share your reflections, we invite you to email us with the subject line “Wisdom of Opposites” or tag us on social media with #EHoPWisdomOfOpposites.
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