Awakening to Wholeness is a series of prompts, reflections, and teachings about how holding the tension of opposites can help us to heal division and experience wholeness. If you feel moved to share your own reflections, we invite you to email us with the subject line “Wisdom of Opposites” or tag us on social media with #EHoPWisdomOfOpposites.
Often enough, I simply feel overwhelmed by life. Over 11, 000 dead in an earthquake, hundreds of emails in my inbox, too many appointments and commitments this month, the gnawing feeling that as a working parent, I never fully show up at work or at home.
When overwhelm is chronic, it makes me feel torn. Torn between life and death, divided between love and fear, fragmented by a thousand little pieces of pressure to perform. And when I see myself feeling this way, it makes me feel even worse. Another dagger of damage pokes my bleeding heart.
Recently, however, when I come to prayer before the Holy One, I have noticed a shift. Rather than trying to perform my usual rites and customs in my personal prayer, I allow myself to just show up at prayer as I am: tired, overwhelmed, torn. I let God meet me where I am. Rather than perform, I rest. Instead of sitting up straight on my meditation cushion, I curl up in a fetal ball and rest my head on the pillow.
As I rest, I remember. I recall the pattern of faith that those who come before and beside me have also recognized. I see the cycle of wholeness. After the shipwreck of crisis, the clamor of awe and gratitude that we made it through. After the days of desolation, the sweet moments of consolation. After the darkness of night, the clarity of daylight. After the crucifixion and death, the rising of new life.
As I rest, I remember the pattern of faith, and my weariness turns into gratitude, even praise and joy at times. I recall this sacred insight: the dynamic power of Love is always, already at work. Even when I am overwhelmed, I am still alright. Even when my mind blurs, my heart sleeps, and my body slumps, the sacred memory of the pattern of faith assures me that everything is alright.
Contemplative Questions
We offer the following questions as prompts to help you reflect on the presence of opposites in your spiritual practice and your life.
- Think of a time (maybe even right now) when you’ve felt overwhelmed by life. How has this feeling affected the way you show up in the world? How has it affected the way you show up in prayer?
- What prayer practices support you through feelings of overwhelm? How do you adapt your usual rites and customs for times of stress or crisis?
- What happens—physically, emotionally, spiritually—when you show up in prayer exactly as you are, and allow God to meet you where you are?
Join the conversation! If you feel moved to share your reflections, we invite you to email us with the subject line “Wisdom of Opposites” or tag us on social media with #EHoPWisdomOfOpposites.
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