Awakening to Wholeness is a series of prompts, reflections, and teachings about how holding the tension of opposites can help us to heal division and experience wholeness. If you feel moved to share your own reflections, we invite you to email us with the subject line “Wisdom of Opposites” or tag us on social media with #EHoPWisdomOfOpposites.
Recently, I spoke with a friend about his process of waiting to be ordained in his tradition. While he expects that it will happen, he does not know when. I reflected how hard it must be to want something, to know it is coming, yet not know exactly when it will be actualized. These are some of the dynamics of expectation, of knowing that the vista of “yes” is over the horizon but not knowing when the sun will rise.
Afterwards, I thought of my parallel journey in my tradition. I, too, have considered ordination, but that possibility is not (yet) a reality in my tradition. Consequently, my stance is not one of expectation—I am not assured it will come to be—but, rather, one of waiting. The dynamics of waiting, like expectation are difficult—doubting if it will ever be, wishing things were different than they are, and not feeling ever fulfilled.
Waiting and expecting both carry the thread of longing, of deep desire. They both hold out in hope. Yet, they are also distinct. In its most immature form, expectation can slide into entitlement. Immature forms of waiting can express as apathy and boredom. Both are our friends. Both are our teachers.
They can also teach one another, through their related tensions. The positive side of expectation, with its anticipation and excitement, can light a fire under the sleepiness of waiting. The tenderness of unfulfilled wanting can soften the boldness of expectation’s entitlement. May this pair, like so many others, be our guide into healing and wholeness! May we draw wisdom from dialogue with ourselves, with others, and with the Holy One.
Contemplative Questions
We offer the following questions as prompts to help you reflect on the presence of opposites in your spiritual practice and your life.
- In your own life, what are you currently longing for? Is your posture one of waiting or expectation?
- How has this longing been difficult? How has it been hopeful?
- What practices (prayer, contemplative dialogue, something else) have helped you to sit with the difficulty of unfulfilled longing? What has your waiting or expectation taught you?
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